New Age Hippy Mama

Before I had my own precious child I was never the kind of person who would ask to hold someone else's baby even if that said person was someone I was very close too. However, if the mother or father asked me to hold their baby I gladly would. Now that I have my own little girl this subject is one that I think about often.

Yesterday "Little" (who is almost 11 months old) and I were standing on the sidewalk with her Grandmother (Big's mom) and two other women I had just met only minutes prior. Then a man came out of their house and without even an introduction walked straight up to me and grabbed her out of my arms. With in seconds she was full blown crying with big tears rolling down her beautiful little face looking at me like "OMG Mom...what **** is happening?". This is when everyone that was standing around started smiling and/or laughing. Now of course, I reached out for her immediately and it took this guy a couple of seconds to concede to me and let me have her back. Within a few moments she had stopped crying but was still breathing heavy and still had tears in her eyes. This is when the man said while laughing "Oh come on, see, she wasn't scared at all. If she had really be scared then she would still be crying right now." What was so funny about this? Why was everyone enjoying this so much? I didn't think it was funny and she clearly didn't think it was amusing in any way!

Why do people feel the need to hold babies that aren't theirs?

An even bigger question...why do some people think its OK to just walk up and grab a baby from it's mother?

And why to people think it's so funny and amusing to watch a baby start crying or get extremely uncomfortable when they are taken out of their mom or dad's arms?

I go back to the idea of showing the same respect to every being on this planet with the kind of respect that you would want to be shown as well. With that said, do you want a stranger to come up to you and grab you, put their arm around you or otherwise physically touch you? I bet 99% of you would answer NO to that question.

So why do some people think it's OK to do that to a baby?

Just because she is a baby doesn't mean that respect for her personal space should just go out the window.
Just because he is a baby doesn't mean that he needs to "learn" to be held by people other than his parents.
Just because he is a baby doesn't mean that he needs to cry in your arms so he can "learn" to like you.
Just because she is a baby doesn't mean that she is now an object that needs to be passed around from one person to the next.
Would you be OK with that? Even if these people are family...to that little baby any person who is not Mom, Dad or their immediate caregiver is still a "stranger" to them. They don't know that you are related or what related even means (and even if he did that doesn't make it OK for you to walk up and grab him without him being alright with it...does it?)

Now if your your baby isn't crying and seems OK with it then by all means let them hold your baby if you want.
But let's review the situation where your baby is clearly unhappy with what's happening and the only way of letting you and everyone around know that is by crying.
So, if your baby is now crying for you while they are in someone else's arms what do you do?

Do you let them continue to hold your baby while he still keeps crying so as not to offend them by taking your child back?
Or do you immediately get your baby so she knows that you are there to make her feel comfortable and safe under any circumstance?
Does your answer change if it's an immediate family member this is happening with?

Personally I don't understand why you wouldn't rather sit next to said baby and interact with them while they are laughing, smiling and playing instead of needing to hold them while they are crying. Selfish is the word that comes into my mind every time. Obviously if the baby is upset it is not benefiting her in any way. It's about you doing what is making you feel good. Selfish.

Does the act of physically holding a baby really create a bond even when the baby is clearly not happy about it?

I have to wonder if when people do this its really more about control. Maybe not consciously but unconsciously if it's giving them a feeling of control over another being that can't do anything about. It's just adding a little more fuel to their "Ego Tank" that is forever needing to be filled up.

Here I was, a new mom basking in the amazement and joy of my new gift. I just jumped into motherhood with gusto. I was in awe of this little being that solely depended on me to help her survive in this new world. I wanted to do nothing but make sure she felt safe and secure in every moment of her new life. She was only going to get the best from me as that was now my purpose in life. I had decided from the moment I found out I was pregnant that I was going to breastfeed her. It was what my body was designed to do and finally I would get to use it for its purpose. I started wearing her close to my heart in a mai tie or ring sling. I was using cloth diapers to help avoid anything toxic that that might touch her soft skin. I was right there ready to respond to her when she told me she needed something. I was watching every move she made to try and catch her needs before she had to yell at me to do something. I was sleeping right by her side so she could nurse whenever she woke to hunger pangs and the need to know she wasn’t alone. It was wonderful… really I couldn’t image doing it any other way. It wasn’t until a few months into it that I heard about Attachment Parenting and started reading up on it. Turns out, that everything I was already doing, instinctively, was right in line with the AP principles. It was kind of a wonderful moment for me to learn that I wasn’t the only one out there that believed in these same things. There are many different ways to parent a child but this is the one that feels right for me. As women and mothers we have to follow our instincts and do what we know is the right thing for ourselves and our children.

How did Attachment Parenting come into your life?